1/17/23 - Mathew 20:17-23

Mathew 20:17-28

Observation:

17-19: Jesus goes to Jerusalem with his twelve disciples and predicts his death to them by being handed over to the Pharisees. And as a collective, the people will mock, torture, and eventually crucify Him. But on the thrid day, Jesus also predicts he will raise from the dead.

20-28: The mother of Zebedee's sons asks Jesus if He would be able to grant her the favor of having her two sons sit next to Jesus (one on the left and the other on the right). Jesus then replies letting the mother know that she does not know what she's asking for and asks the two sons if they can drink from His cup that he's about to drink to which the sons replied stating they can. Jesus explains to the sons and everyone around him that sitting next to Jesus is not for Him to decide as the Kingdom belongs to the Father. Jesus goes on to further explain how the earthly rulers seek to show their greatness by ruling over the people and showing off their power. The final message Jesus shared was how Jesus came to serve and the greatest way to serve was to suffer.

Interpretation:

The disciples are selfishly thinking about how they can be great for God. Using James and John, sons of Zebedee, and their mother as an example, you can see how they wanted a secure place of prestige in Jesus's Kingdom. The mother kneels before Jesus and asks or even pleads to Jesus to have her sons sit next to Jesus in His Kingdom. Jesus doesn't even reply back to the mother; instead he replies back to James and John with a question of His own. "Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?" It's clear Jesus is trying to let James and John know that they have no idea what they are getting themselves into or the implications behind it. When James and John said yes to Jesus, they were thinking of it from a worldly view/perspective: I want to be great standing next to Jesus as if it was a cushy job that Jesus is bringing me along for the ride. One could see it James and John were showing off, another could see it as James and John being brave without understanding the implications. But what they don't seem to understand is that what Jesus is about to partake from the cup is not so great. Think of it as a nasty medicine like the Korean traditional medicine "hanyak." What Jesus was trying to explain to them is that whatever Jesus is about to drink is sin, it's dark, it's dangerous, it's suffering, it's everything not holy. Jesus is going to drink that. You can see Jesus being, again, patient and compassionate by not ridiculing them or lambasting them for saying yes to something we don't understand what we're getting ourselves into. Jesus points out that even though they drink from His cup, it's not up to Jesus to honor their place in heaven but it's solely up to God (the Father). I can imagine one day Ben (my son) telling me he's going to be the best on a team whether it's sport-related, video games, or anything that involves "being on a team". The human response would be quite negative like how he's not talented enough, or he simply doesn't have the natural physicality/gifts that's necessary in order for him to excel (height, speed, reflex, etc). Instead, I simply let him know that it's up to the coach or the leader of the team to decide whether you deserve that kind of title. To me, that's letting Ben off the hook for thinking in such a manner, and it applies here, too, with Jesus telling James and John that "Hey, you guys want to be rewarded for following Me, but that's up to God at the end." 

Moving onto to the other disciples witnessing what was taking place, they must have been fuming inside. When someone at work states they're working hard, they're doing everything they can for the team, and how they're bringing in money, the others on the team will feel awfully jealous especially if there are those who are doing the exact same thing if not better. It's that "what about me?" feeling hence selfishness and jealousy were clouding the minds of the other ten disciples. And again, Jesus knows their hearts and their minds, so he shows patience and compassion. Jesus does not ridicule them instead he teaches them by giving context that there is a worldly standard of being great here on earth and there's a standard of being great in God's Kingdom. Jesus teaches his disciples that they must be more than willing to be humble and serve and Jesus is thee example of the greatest servant hence we must be Christ-like. And the greatest act as a servant Jesus did for all of us was giving His life for our sins when He did not deserve it at all. I've learned in the past that Jesus's life was a ransom for our sins. Men are slaves to sin and must be paid by death therefore Jesus paid that price for us as a ransom. And Jesus did that willingly and lovingly. Throughout this whole time, Jesus could have scolded his disciples and Jesus would have every right for doing so but throughout the entire time from the events before heading to Jerusalem and leading into and during his journey, Jesus showed patience and compassion. 

Personal Reflection:

There's several moments in my past, present and most likely into the future where I know serving is something I will somehow or in some way reject it and/or simply run away from it. I've been turned off by serving throughout the years admittingly because I wanted something out of it like admiration, adoration, or even sympathy. During those times my heart wasn't in the right place; I was like one of the ten disciples saying things like "what about me?" Even the littelest things would set me off in the past. When I was a junior in high school, the congregation was going through was renovation so they asked us to come up with an idea on how we wanted to do our next baptismal. I immediately thought that we should do our next baptism at the beach. I shared this idea with my brother in Christ, Andy, and he took this idea and shared it with the congregation, which everyone instantly got excited for and praised Andy for it, which I became extremely jealous. Instead of being happy and joyful on the fact that there were up to 20+ people who got baptized that day at Laguna beach, I was bitter and frustrated on simply not being apprecited for the thought and I was clearly missing out on the bigger picture. 

There was another time during my senior year in high school when I was called to serve on going to a Mexicalli retreat for the youth group at my church. My pastor told me he prayed for two leaders to help out with the youth group and believed God was telling him to have me and another peer of mine to be the leaders. Initially I agreed, but Satan put several fears into me like lack of finance, my father being mentally unstable at the time and overall, I'm not worthy to be a leader. Eventually I told my pastor I couldn't go, and asked him to look for someone else. How I realized I was truly meant to be that leader was when they could not find someone else to fill in for that spot and eventually went ahead with the retreat being down one less leader.

I would even say pride can definitely get in the way of growth with God when using the calling of servanthood as the reason to serve in the church. For instance, in the beginning, when I was the college fellowship leader, our fellowship was blessed because our fellowship was not only strong and committed but we were studying the word, and we were praying together and for one another, in a nutshell, we had God as our centerpiece (as it should be). Over time I got praised for it, I was looked up to in the church and my words actually carried weight. My pride started to get in the way of things and eventually sin started to take over as well. It was obvious and some of the fellowship members fell out of the fellowship and went elsewhere or stopped attending. Eventually, God told me that I had to let it go because I was doing it for the wrong reasons and after sharing this with my pastor at the time, my pastor asked me to step down and he replaced me with an older couple. The fellowship would thrive under them and that's because they had a servant-like attitude towards the fellowship while I had more selfish reasons. Instead of me continuously serving the fellowship, eventually, I had the fellowship serving my pride and admiration.

God did give me chances to serve for example, God called me to go to a short-term mission trip to South China. This time I did not hesitate on going and while I did not get an opportunity to evangelize there, the other members on our team did. The overall trip was a blessing. My team members were grateful to me on having to sacrifice my time on helping out with events and planning, and overall having that servant mentality where I noticed my team being less stressed and even having fun. I can see the stark difference between having a more selfish attitude on being high up there next to Jesus in heaven and having a humble, servant-like attitude. When my heart is truly for God, I honestly feel God's presence and blessing.

Application:

I know God is calling on me to serve. In fact, God has been calling me to serve for numerous years. When I was in college I would go on mission trips. I was also the college fellowship leader for a couple of years. Although when I was in my career fellowship (post college), I was not the leader and more of an attendee, but that was when I was more hesitant on going to fellowship and rather hang out with my friends even though God was putting into my heart on going back to fellowship. I did go back once I had Lily and I knew that being part of a fellowship was the right thing to do especially for not only my walk with God but also for Jiyoon and my family. But one thing God has put into my heart was teaching. I told my previous pastor if I could help serve by being a discipler to the youth but my pastor would tell me that I wasn't ready nor were there any kids that he wanted me to help disciple. I wasn't sure what that truly meant but now that we're here in the year 2023, I know God has called me to not only attend Disciple Church but to also serve and if God wants me to serve the church by being a discipler to young fathers around me or even being a youth group leader then I will follow. I will continue to pray but overall, I want to make sure that my heart is in the right place where I'm being patient, compassionate, humble and overall, Chirst-like.